PDA Burnout in Adults
PDA Burnout is different from Autistic burnout for a multitude of reasons.
One of the main roots of the difference between Autistic burnout and PDA Burnout is folks living with PDA nervous systems tend to burn out from an overabundance of demands and not having enough time, energy or support to recover from the impact of the dysregulation to gain enough capacity to continue living as well as one can with the demands of the day to day.
This means the cause of PDA burnout is distinctly different from Autistic burnout and requires a different approach to supporting needs within it.
Brief Explanation of Causes of Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout is often caused by a combination of experiences such as having to spend time in environments and with tasks where we have to suppress our natural forms of expression and to ignore our needs.
Autistic burnout can also arise from sensory trauma we experience from being in environments which assault our hyper-sensitive sensory systems. Environments such as school buildings, work offices, public places, doctors offices, etc. can cause sensory trauma over time.
Autistic people can also experience burnout from having needs go unmet for too long.
All of this can be true for PDAers experiencing burnout, as well - we just also need to take into consideration how this can coincide with PDA specific burnout so we are recognizing all of the roots contributing in order to be able to support the needs behind the burnout.
Pathological Demand Avoidance PDA Burnout in Adults
Knowing the distress PDAers experience comes from a nervous system which is hyper-sensitive and reactive to certain demands, expectations, loss of autonomy and physical needs (such as hydration, feeding and hygiene) helps us to better understand how an accumulation of all of the activating factors listed over time without the time and energy to increase capacity to tolerate each can lead to a PDAer burning out as a result.
The more demands, expectations, loss of autonomy and physical needs we experience in a day, the more likely we are to have less capacity to tolerate and be capable of coping and recovering from the reactions we experience when pushed past our current capacity in any given moment.
As PDAers experience an accumulation of stress from the nervous systems reactions to each demand, expectation, loss of autonomy and physical need the less energy can be accessed for tasks which support nervous system regulation (connecting with others, engaging in interests, etc.) which leads to less ability to gain more capacity to handle more demands as time goes on.
The need to mask (and especially be ‘high-masking’ in many situations, such as school or work) puts an intense burden on a PDAers capacity level to be able to access the ability to cope with other demands, expectations, needs and loss of autonomy.
Signs of PDA Burnout
General Signs of PDA Burnout
Avoiding demands, expectations, needs and any loss of autonomy more than usual. Demands can be anything from basic hygiene - not being able to brush teeth, shower as regularly, apply deodorant/lotion, etc. to sleep (staying awake longer than usual to meet the need for autonomy over how time/energy is being spent) all the way to eating - experienced as: difficulty with procuring, preparing and actually eating and hydrating.
On the extreme side: may develop bladder infections due to not being able to access emptying bladder regularly.
Feeling desperate to avoid specific types of demands, expectations, needs and loss of autonomy, whereas it may have felt less intense to know there would be obligations and responsibilities prior to being in burnout. A person with a PDA nervous system will regularly experience dysregulation with demands, however the severity and capacity to tolerate some amount/level is significantly different in burnout.
Experiencing previously enjoyed or tolerated tasks and activities as a demand which were not experienced this way in the past.
Experiencing quicker, more frequent and intense nervous system reactions to demands, expectations, needs and loss of autonomy. This is often experienced as more frequent meltdowns and shutdowns. May experience more frequent, intense and immediate stress reactions (fight, flight, freeze, fawn, flop, flood, etc.) with additional demands, expectations, needs and loss of autonomy than before.
Increase in frequency and intensity with inward experience of “fight mode” when trying to do even the simplest tasks. This seems to be especially true when the physical energy, internal motivation and physical ability to do the task are present, yet a PDAer experiences internally arguing about needing to do the task and even wanting to do the task - yet not being able to push through the nervous system dysregulation to be able to access starting the task (much less continuing with or completing the task).
This can be experienced off and on or for an extended period of time, which is experienced significantly differently than when not in PDA Burnout.
Experiencing additional difficulty in decision making, sometimes to the point of being mentally incapable of even considering the options, much less make a choice.
Experiencing more intense sensitivity with sensory information (sound, light, touch, etc.). Previously enjoyable sensory experiences (swimming, playing with a fidget) can feel like a demand on our system to recognize and notice the sensory information.
On the flip-side: decrease in internal signals (interoception) - ex: hunger cues are not as noticeable as they once were.
Increased nervous system dysregulation when even considering engaging in hobbies or other areas of interest. This can be experienced as an enjoyable activity now feeling like a demand (and even an expectation to seek out to help get out of burnout, so the activity is now even less accessible).
More intrusive thoughts experienced as internalized equalizing - ex: “I could do this if I wanted to (even though it’s a task you wouldn’t actually want to do)” in order to remind yourself you have control. This can be your way of trying to reclaim your autonomy to help build capacity to get out of burnout.
Increased need to dissociate with the use of escapism such as watching shows, movies, etc. to encourage ability to ‘check out’ to conserve energy to build capacity.
Increased intensity with other experiences such as agoraphobia, anxiety, depression, dissociation, emotional ‘regulation’, mood lability, OCD, trauma/complex trauma, etc.
Inability to access coping mechanisms which helped in the past. Or, if capable of accessing the coping mechanisms, recognizing their impact is significantly changed (often find them ineffective while in PDA Burnout, or so minimally impactful they are more draining to access and take up too much capacity for the mediocre benefit).
Sudden, seemingly overnight drastic change in capacity for Activities of Daily Living (such as cooking, cleaning, etc.), work, school, family, friends, etc.
Signs of PDA Burnout Related to Obligations with Adult PDAers
Ruminating on upcoming obligations more than usual. Possibly thinking of scenarios to try and get out of obligations, circumvent blame, or even trying to find ways to avoid recognition of how you were unable to accomplish certain obligations.
This is often experienced as daydreaming or fantasizing about ways to covertly avoid demands. While this takes mental energy to think about, it is typically less than the task itself would take. By avoiding the task altogether and doing so in a creative way, this can potentially meet the need for autonomy in this instance, which can help create more capacity for later tasks).
Sudden need to cancel appointments and events previously planned to attend (and may have even been looking forward to and would have enjoyed outside of PDA Burnout).
Relational Signs of PDA Burnout in Adult PDAers
Increased need for co-regulation with safe people, however this can be extremely dysregulating as a need due to the lack of autonomy within this need (may want to be alone, but can’t tolerate it - it can be extra detrimental to lose out on this need for autonomous decision making for time and energy is spent).
Also, the demand and expectations around having someone nearby to co-regulate with you to meet this need can be dysregulating, as well, since there is now another person to consider and to perceive you (which can be a major activating factor for a lot of PDAers).
Feeling resentful toward people when they contact/communicate for any reason (when otherwise may feel neutral or even enjoy communicating with the person) because there is an expectation of a response and having to come up with any form of a response may require too much capacity in PDA Burnout.
More conflict in relationships due to not having the ability to edit words/communication and may not be able to modulate vocal tone, voice volume, etc. May be more direct than usual in communication and this can be activating with people living with Rejection Sensitivity to receive - especially when used to typical communication style.
Experiencing strong feelings of disdain, distrust and even hate toward people who are not the closest and most safe people in support system/circle of care, which impacts ability to engage with people outside of closest, most trusted people.
Inability or increased difficulty in accessing the ability to mask/camouflage Autistic traits/expression so avoid social situations as it is not safe to engage with others while this ability is inaccessible.
If you have to push through the experience with significant difficulty in accessing the ability to mask or need to co-regulate with others in your life (such as PDAers who also hold roles as parents, caregivers and support people to friends and family) may experience an increase in physical illnesses due to the increase in stress experienced.
Please note: all of the signs of Pathological Demand Avoidant (PDA) Burnout listed above are from my lived experience as well as the lived experiences of other Adult PDAers who consented to their experiences being shared here and while we are listing them as PDA Burnout experiences, each sign may also be experienced by non-PDAers in burnout. There will be universal experiences within burnout cycles across neurotypes - however, the list above was made with the express understanding of how a Pathological Demand Avoidant nervous system experiences each sign of PDA Burnout.
A blog post on how to support PDAers in PDA Burnout is planned to be published later this week. I was originally going to add it here, however it is a topic which will take some time to compile and is a topic which deserves it’s own separate blog post.
