Neuro-divergent Inter-generational Trauma

Neurodivergent Intergenerational Trauma

For those familiar with intergenerational trauma, it is widely known to be the trauma that is passed down through the generations (i.e. the impact of grandparents living through the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression passed down via genetics) as well as the toxic and abusive patterns of behavior we experience from our family members based on our unique family culture.

Neurodivergent intergenerational trauma is all of this plus the trauma we inherit and experience due to the impact of multiple generations of family members with unrecognized and unsupported Neurodivergent needs. 

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Neurodivergent adults know the impact of unrecognized and unsupported needs related to our Neurodivergence.

We know the trauma we have endured as our needs have gone unrecognized and unsupported.

With the lens of Neurodivergent intergenerational trauma, we can also begin to recognize the long-standing grief, loss and impact of our ancestors and immediate family members living in a world not made for them and doing their best to cope with it - however often suffering for not having access to knowledge and accommodation.

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In the year 2024, we are experiencing a heightened awareness of mental health and Neurodiversity within Generation X, Millennials, Gen-Z and Gen Alpha - however, the generations before us made life work in whatever ways they were able to and are more frequently found to adhere to more Neuronormative standards (even when they’ve been educated on Neurodiversity principles).

Quick definitions for terms to be used below: cultural norms set what is acceptable and not acceptable in an individual's behavior within that culture or society. Whereas, mores are expectations of individuals behavior based on the culture’s/society’s values, beliefs and ethics.

The studies of anthropology, biological anthropology, psychology, neuroscience and neuropsychology have given explanations for generational differences in beliefs, values, and more. In most cultures around the world, there are distinct cultural norms and mores which distinguish what is and is not acceptable by members of the society within the local culture. 

While families exist within societies and belong to different cultures - each family has its own culture. Families may have norms and mores which come from the broader culture and society, while also having unique norms and mores put on individual members of the family (regardless of the individual's needs, differences, values or beliefs being different from the family’s).

Example: an unrecognized Neurodivergent family unit consisting of four family members, two parents and two children, have cultural mores based on the parents shared value of money after the parents experience of growing up in poverty.

There are expectations placed on the two children to grow up, get good grades, choose college degree plans which will make being financially stable more of a likelihood than a degree plan the adult child may prefer based on their individual strengths, interests and values.

This pressure to value the same thing (in this example, money) as the family can prove traumatic as the parents act in accordance with the family’s cultural more which requires seeking financial security above all else (which proves harmful to their adult children who do not share this same value).

Unrecognized Neurodivergence comes into play when these expectations are placed on someone whose brain and body may have other needs which are going unmet due to the pressure to conform to this family cultural expectation.

The adult child may continue to push themselves to mask their Neurodivergent traits and try to meet their family’s cultural expectations to avoid being rejected or worse.

The parents may have unrecognized Neurodivergent needs they are so used to suppressing, they may be displacing their anger on their adult children in the form of pressuring them to conform to the family culture, regardless of the mental, emotional and relational cost.

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With the above example, I want to highlight how it is normal as a human to want to survive. It is common for parents to pressure their children to succeed. However, when we are considering the fact Neurodivergent people often have different/additional needs to the average person and the cost of not having those met may be more intense and damaging, it is important to recognize the impact of Neurodivergent Intergenerational Trauma.

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More on this topic to come in future blogs. This blog serves as an introduction to the topic of Neurodivergent intergenerational trauma - especially that of families who are still unrecognized and/or late recognized.

Resources:

The Effects of Family Culture on Family Foundations https://cof.org/content/effects-family-culture-family-foundations#:~:text=Norms%20set%20standards%20for%20how,within%20the%20home%20and%20without.

Intergenerational Trauma and the Perpetuation of Harm
https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/04/24/intergenerational-trauma-and-the-perpetuation-of-harm/

Late Autism Diagnosis & Generational Trauma – When Loved Ones Don’t Accept that You ARE Autistic https://neurodivergentrebel.com/2023/03/31/late-autism-diagnosis-generational-trauma-when-loved-ones-dont-accept-that-you-are-autistic/