For Neurodivergent people seeking a therapist who has knowledge and understanding of Neurodiversity including in-depth knowledge and understanding of different neurotypes, while also practicing from an affirming lens can prove to be incredibly challenging.

So many Neurodivergent adults have tried multiple therapists over the span of many years coming away with more questions than answers:

• Whats wrong with me?

• Why doesn’t therapy seem to work for me?

For those of us lucky enough to learn there is a difference in the way therapy needs to be modified and applied based on our neurotypes and indivisuals needs - we then have the daunting task of finding a therapist who can support us in the ways our unique selves need.

Below are 8 of my first recommendations to consider when seeking a Neurodiversity Affirming and Inclusive Therapist:

1. Notice Language Used by the Therapist

First, when you click onto their directory profile or website - pay attention to the language they use when discussing Neurodiversity. While I am not encouraging being a perfectionist or judging someone on their ignorance - therapists directory listings and websites are our first introduction to who therapists are and how they practice.

A therapist who is well-versed in Neurodiversity Affirmative practices will have done their research and will know the difference between Neurodiversity, Neurodivergent, Neurodiverse - so on and so forth.

The language should also come off as affirming and inclusive and refrain from acting like Neurodivergence is something to fix, cure, or otherwise change. Ultimately the message should be about helping you in the ways you need without recognizing your neurotypes (or the traits and experiences you have as a result) as being the problem. Truly ND affirming and inclusive therapists recognize how systems are often the cause of a lot of our distress, etc.

This is not to say a therapist who doesn’t know the difference between certain terms, or who uses less affirming language is guaranteed to be a bad fit for your needs - it is simply the first thing I pay attention to in order to decide if I am comfortable reaching out to this therapist or not.

2. Notice the Areas of Focus Mentioned

If the areas the therapist claims to focus on seem like it would encourage masking your Neurodivergent traits/forms of expression, ‘hacking’ your natural way of being or any other obvious sign of trying to add more tasks to make you seem less Neurodivergent - I would say this person is not practicing in Neurodivrsity affirmative or inclusive ways.

Please note: as a multiply Neurodivergent person who has had to survive in a Neuronormative world, I do understand the need to mask our natural ways of being - and I talk to my clients about this in a realistic way. We have to find ways to be safe in the world we live in. However, this is different from the therapists who actively work with clients in Neuronormative ways (often unintentionally) causing clients to suppress and push through, rather than recognizing and honoring needs.

3. Notice the different Neurotypes (aka Diagnoses) Mentioned

Every therapist will have their areas of focus which often includes specific neurotypes. Not all therapists will have the ability to work with all neurotypes just because of the need to intensely study, train and have working experience in supporting certain neurotypes and common lived experiences related to each.

However, there is a misconception that only Autism and ADHD are “Neurodivergent” (even though the person who coined the term, Kassiane, has stated otherwise) it is fine for a therapist to only work with Autistic ADHDers so long as they aren’t excluding other neurotypes due to this misunderstanding. Many Neurodiversity Affirmative therapists will work with multiple neurotypes which commonly co-occur (ex: Autism, ADHD, PDA, OCD, PMDD, PTSD/CPTSD).

4. A truly ND Affirmative and Inclusive Therapist will also be:

• Anti-racist

• Anti-ableist

• Anti-diet culture/Fat liberatory

• LGBTQIAP2S+ Affirming and Inclusive

If anything in the therapists language used or communication with you seems to suggest otherwise, this therapist is not practicing what they claim.

5. Philosophies, Theories and Modalities, oh my!

Neurodiversity Affirmative practices are not widely taught in counseling programs (college/university) nor in the professional trainings we take in order to renew our professional licenses.

This means: ND affirming therapists have often sought out their own education, research, practice, etc. This means: there isn’t a standard of what we all learn to be able to claim this practice. Certificates and the like which are offered by large companies who provide training as their business are not what they seem to be (it’s really a therapist who took a bunch of hours of training - usually made in an ableist and neuronormative worldview, maybe did some supervision or homework on the topic and got a piece of paper).

Seeking information on our websites or even asking us about our philosophies, theories and therapy modailities used (and why) is perfectly acceptable and even expected. Any truly ND affirming therapist will be able to answer these questions (though if its on a call or a video consult - maybe give us a heads up that you plan to ask this as many of us experience executive functioning differences and you don’t want us to have a long pause as we try to engage that part of our brain to be able to answer you).

6. Modifying Therapy Modalities

Neurodiversity Affirming therapists have had to learn to modify ‘evidence-based’ therapy modalities to accommodate Neurodivergent needs, such as interoception differences (ability to sense and recognize internal body signals), alexithymia (difference in experiencing and recognizing emotions), aphantasia/hyperphantasia (inability to or difference in the ability to form a mental picture / extremely vivid and intense mental imagery), differences in habituation, processing, executive functioning, etc.

You can ask the therapist about their understanding of and experience with modifying certain therapy modalities for any of your known needs.

7. Accommodations Offered

When you reach out to this therapist, ideally you are given an explanation of what to expect as far as next steps in the process. ND affirming therapists may also offer specific accommodation in areas where the therapist is able to offer any.

The therapist also may wait until you request any related to certain types of needs as it can be overwhelming to receive a lot of information at once (especially if irrelevant if given when you did not ask…)

Please note: ND affirming therapists are often Neurodivergent themselves (most of the time, multiply Neurodivergent). Many ND affirming therapists also work alone or in a small group which means: there may only be certain types of accommodation the therapist can offer due to their own disability and access to resources. ND affirming therapists will do their best to find a way to accommodate different needs - there just may be some areas where we are unable to do so due to licensing requirements, local laws or abilities/access.

8. Is the Therapist openly Neurodivergent?

This is not a requirement to be a good Neurodiversity Affirmative and Inclusive therapist - however, a lot of Neurodivergent people prefer having a therapist with lived experience because there can be a foundational level of understanding and recognition it can be difficult to communicate to someone without any lived frame of reference.

Please Note: sharing neurotypes with your therapist cannot possibly guarantee you will instantly ‘click’ or understand each other. Your individual experiences living with your shared neurotype may be incredibly different. However, the more I learn about Neurodivergent client experiences in therapy with openly Neurodivergent therapists - the resounding preference seems to be fore a therapist with lived experience who ‘gets it’ and is able to practice from a level is understanding which is entirely different from what one can gain from school or training.